Survey Results and Comments on why Men Crossdress - Vernon Coleman (PhD)

Surprisingly, perhaps, the most common reason given for cross dressing was the feeling of wearing women’s clothes. Men who are accustomed to wearing rough and itchy clothing obtain considerable tactile pleasure from contact with the thinner, softer, more delicate fabrics used in the manufacture of womens' clothing. Although this feeling sometimes arises as a result of a childhood experience there are many transvestites who have discovered the pleasure of wearing silky, satiny materials in their 30s, 40s or older.`Putting on stockings for the first time was, without question, the single most erotic, sensually exciting thing I have ever done without a woman,' wrote one transvestite. Many transvestites also report that they find cross dressing helps them deal with stress.

`Men dress for different reasons. I don't dress to shock or to be glamorous or sexy. I don't dress to attract men (or women). I don't do it for any reason other than to relax. Crossdressing gets me out of myself. I don't want to be cured because there is nothing wrong with me. I won't ever stop.' The twentieth century male is under a tremendous amount of pressure to be strong, masculine and successful. It is no coincidence that cross dressing is particularly popular among those men who are either workaholics or who are involved in particularly macho activities (such as the military or the police).

Transvestites who crossdress to escape from stress are often workaholics. Having pushed themselves hard they are often successful in their business or professional careers and so they have a great deal to lose if their transvestism is exposed. Like all workaholics the transvestite workaholic pushes himself to the point of mental and physical exhaustion because he is searching for a love that has always been denied to him by his parents. Dressing as a woman enables him to escape completely from the pressure to succeed because it enables him to escape from his tortured male persona for a while.

A man who is under constant pressure to achieve, to perform and to make money may find that he can escape from those pressures most effectively by slipping on silky, feminine clothes. He can change his personality and his perception of society's expectations of him within seconds. He removes his suit or uniform and with it puts aside his responsibilities. When he puts on a pair of stockings, a suspender belt and a dress or a skirt the soft, feminine side of his personality (which may have been suppressed for years) is allowed to come to the surface.

It is because crossdressing is an effective way of dealing with stress and tension and pressure that many high flyers, politicians, military men, business leaders and professionals enjoy cross dressing. There are an increasing number of clubs in the US where business, political and military leaders can learn how to put on make up, borrow clothing, relax and forget their every day pressures and anxieties. In the UK male transvestites can now get a bank card to use when they are dressed as women. One of the reasons why crossdressing is so often done in secret is the fact that it is particularly common among the most successful men in business, the services and the professions - the very men who have most to lose by being `found out' and who are, therefore, least likely to admit to cross dressing.

Many men who cross dress to escape from stress claim that when they put on stockings, a dress and a bra they can feel their cares and worries fading away. They feel calm and relaxed and so their bodies benefit enormously. Choosing underwear and putting on lipstick and nail varnish helps them to find a different part of their personality and to forget their day to day anxieties. For them transvestism is a healthier way of relaxing than smoking or drinking and probably no more expensive or absurd a hobby than golf.

Cross dressing has no physical side effects (though there are still many social hazards - ranging from embarrassment through to unemployment). As a physician I would much rather see a man under stress deal with pressure by cross dressing than by taking tranquillisers.

Some may feel it surprising that anyone should be able to throw off stresses simply by putting on different clothes. But there is plenty of evidence to show that clothes do have an impact on the way we look at the world and the way we feel.

When a man dresses in his `Sunday best' suit he will often feel and behave quite differently to the way he feels and behaves when he is wearing his work or leisure clothes. Simply putting on a suit may affect the way he walks and talks - as well as the way he thinks. When I was a senior medical student and a young doctor I had a smart, pinstriped suit which I kept for important, formal occasions. I wore it mainly for examinations and for job interviews. Consequently, it was hardly surprising that I found myself feeling stressed and `uptight' whenever I put the suit on. Eventually, just looking at the suit made me feel tense and so I gave it away to a charity shop knowing that the new owner would buy it without any emotional baggage.

In exactly the same way that my suit made me feel stressed so the transvestite can throw off his day to day worries - the worries normally associated with his male persona - and feel relaxed by putting on a dress.

There are, without doubt, other ways in which a man under stress could obtain relief. But most of the available alternatives are likely to be considerably more damaging to him, his family and society in general than dressing up in fancy lingerie. The cross dresser could undoubtedly obtain a similar level of release by taking tranquillisers (likely to become an addictive habit), smoking cigarettes (likely to give him cancer) or drinking himself senseless. Alcohol alters the senses and so make stress bearable for many. Clothes can affect the senses with a similar result. The difference is that wearing silks and satins won't wreck your liver. Why is the importance of the skin as a sense organ so vastly and consistently underestimated? It is odd that society should, in general, choose to regard alcoholism as a forgivable and understandable consequence of overwork whereas cross dressing remains such a misunderstood remedy that most transvestites make enormous efforts to keep their dressing a secret. (The secret nature of transvestism is something of a self perpetuating problem: transvestites who are secretive inevitably risk being exposed and if they are exposed the fact that they kept their transvestism secret makes it sound rather dirty. As far as the public is concerned the fact that they kept it secret suggests that they were ashamed of it.)

There is some considerable irony in the fact that women (who do not need to cross dress to escape from stress) can cross dress without any fears or anxieties whatsoever.

Because of its importance in the relief of stress transvestism could be one of the most important social developments of the century.  

Quotes from crossdressers on the reason they do it

`I find painting my toe nails the most relaxing thing I've ever done. I have to concentrate but it takes no real effort and there are no significant consequences. If I make a mistake it doesn't really matter but if I make a good job of it the end result will be there to admire for weeks.'

`I sat on a bench in the garden, in the sun, painting my finger nails in a gloriously decadent shade of red. I know of no more relaxing activity. You have to concentrate totally. It is impossible to think of anything else. Painting your nails requires every ounce of available concentration - particularly when you are using your non dominant hand to paint the nails of your dominant hand. I understand at last why receptionists never even look up when they're painting their nails.'

`Women have the freedom to wear clothes to match their moods. Most of the time men have only the freedom to wear a different coloured tie.'

`I think that transvestites are probably healthier - and may live longer - than non transvestites. My guess is that transvestites probably suffer far less from stress related diseases than do than do non transvestites.'

`There is a woman in every man. But some men just never let her out. I think they are the unlucky ones.'

`Being a transvestite has caused me a great deal of heartache. But the day I became one was one of the most important days of my life. The day I helped the secret woman in my life to gain her freedom was the day I became a whole man - and the day I found my freedom too.'

`I like the feel of women's underwear. It is softer and more feminine than male underwear and more comfortable.'

`In times of stress and anxiety I need the feel of women's clothing to try and `escape' from the source of stress. It helps me forget the outside causes of the stress.'

`My cross dressing started when I put on a girlfriend's underwear for fun when we were making love. I liked the feel of it and kept it on afterwards. It made me feel good. My transvestism just progressed from there.'

`I went to an all boy school and I first dressed as a woman when I was in the school drama society. My voice broke late and I had a rather feminine sort of face so I always got given the female parts. I enjoyed dressing up in silky, feminine things and just carried on. I haven't acted for years but I still wear womens' clothes.'

`I put on a girlfriend's teddy when I lost a bet. I had to wear it all day. When I got up the next morning I realised I wanted to wear it again. That was how I got hooked. It was as simple as that.'

`Looking through a clothes catalogue I realised that I was looking at the womens' clothes far more than the men’s clothes. And it wasn't the models I was looking at - it was the clothes.'

`It is alright for women to dress in men's type of clothing but it is strange that men are considered `odd' or as transvestite if they like women's style clothing.'

`I have tried to stop wearing `women's' underwear for various periods of time but have had only limited success. The urge/desire always returns and cannot be controlled. I have explained this to my wife but I do not know if she can understand this.'

`Transvestism is a hobby but it is addictive like drinking, gambling, smoking and the like, but with one major difference - it doesn't kill. But it can hurt, especially if it is your partner or family.'

`Being a transvestite is the most painful experience of my life. I feel that there is another person inside of me, a female who will not stop at anything to get out. I seem to be more vulnerable when I have had a few drinks. Then she likes to try and take over. I know that it sounds crazy but I honestly feel that this is the case. The agony can drive you mental. The thought of wanting to be a woman, the softness of her clothes, the freedom of her legs, not an hour of the day goes by without this mental anguish. I have tried to suppress my desires but its almost as if she will claw at my insides to get out.'

`I must say I get a great pleasure and buzz out of dressing up in women's underwear and dresses, getting all made up and putting on my high heels so I can pose in front of my mirrors. I find it so natural to do this and I see nothing wrong in doing so.'

`Why is it that I cannot stop a thing I started sometime in 1976 - the compulsion to wear female clothing and sometimes even make up?'

`I still cannot give it up. I think I'll go on forever like this because I enjoy it so much.

' `I love the feel of silks and satins and wearing silky undies definitely gives me a kick. I am quite able to deal with stress without dressing up and I have no desire whatsoever to be a woman.'

`I know one or two transvestites who blame their parents. They blame their mothers for forcing them to wear girls' clothes and they blame their fathers for not stopping them. I don't see why its necessary to blame anyone. Transvestism is nothing to worry about and nothing to be ashamed of. It's just something I enjoy. It's great fun. And I love meeting and talking to other transvestites - they are very nice people.'

`The last time I wore any woman's clothing was probably about seven or eight months ago (knickers only). I keep hoping that the feelings will go away and that perhaps the longer I go without women's clothing then perhaps I will be "cured" of transvestism but this does not seemed to have stopped me looking in the windows of clothes shops and through the women' sections of mail order catalogues and longing to wear the items that I see.'

`I feel the need to wear silky directoire knickers and French knickers. I would also like to wear a silky slip and a dress. Am I cracking up?'

`I suffer very high blood pressure but when I am dressed all the stress and tension goes, and it’s a great help to me.'

`I feel as though I am possessed.'

`I used to get sexually aroused, then, not now. Dressing up, for me is as normal as a woman would. I like the touch and feel of clothes - the tight elastic of a girdle, the softness of a pair of tights - there is so much more `freedom' in a skirt than in trousers or jeans.'

`As I became older and the effects of my war time injuries became much more life threatening the yearning to wear female clothes and indeed to look like and feel like a woman became unbearable. I started wearing female clothes under my male attire and in the evenings would change and put on make up. This evolved slowly until I had acquired all the skills of make up and dress sense.'

`There is one great saving grace about transvestism, and that is "it's the greatest pain killer I know". Since I have to put up with a great deal of discomfort and pain due to my injuries, I find that I completely and genuinely forget all my pain and troubles when I am "dressed".'

`I do it because I enjoy it, feel relaxed and able to calm down, love the feeling of the clothes and give the impression of a woman and sometimes get a sexual kick out of it but not every time.'

`I now find that when I get uptight, just by letting my female persona take over and getting appropriately dressed, the tensions fade.'

`I get enjoyment from wearing feminine clothes. It helps me to relax and allows me to change my character and male image. XX years in the RAF and supposed leader of men - it is great to get away from it, even for an hour or two.'

`I also think it helps me in my work as I have feminine feelings and can talk to all the females working for me and in some way appreciate how hard they have to work to get recognition in a male dominated workforce.'

`I am a happy man. I just like acting the part of a woman. It is relaxing.'

`I always find myself relaxed after dressing up.'

`I enjoy dressing as a woman as it helps to release stress and I like the feelings of dressing and being dressed.'

`I am a serving police officer in the YY Police and after a tour of weekend violence, dressing up helps me to calm down.'

`Instead of reaching for booze or drugs, I reach out for my skirt and blouse and find it far more relaxing.'

`I love women so much that I enjoy dressing like one.'

`I am fascinated by all the paraphernalia of womanhood - suspenders, bras, corsets and so on. I love touching them and wearing them.'

`I don't have to crossdress. I discovered the art and pleasure of crossdressing by accident. I do it because it helps me to relax and I enjoy it. What's the big deal? What does it matter to anyone else whether I wear underpants or ladies knickers? It's what inside and what you intend to do with it that counts.'

`Women can have male qualities and still be accepted but men aren't allowed to have female qualities. In my experience men are just as soft as most women - possibly softer. Women think men are hard. But they aren't. Men need sympathy, support, cuddles and reassurance just as much as women.'

`I think of my life in two halves: pre Michelle and post Michelle. (The name I use when I am dressed as a woman). The moment when I first realised I could spend part of my life as a woman was one of the most important in my life.'

`I used to suffer from all sorts of stress symptoms. I had to take tranquillisers and sleeping tablets. Since becoming a transvestite my symptoms have virtually disappeared. I would much rather be a transvestite than a stress sufferer.'

`I used to be a very aggressive workaholic. I was always picking rows with people. Since I became a transvestite I've changed enormously. My wife says I'm more fun and more likeable now. I think I'm an altogether much nicer person.'

On the lighter side