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Crossdressing Info Terminology The terms used to describe members of our community have changed over the years and their use may differ from country to country. Many of us do not like being ‘labeled’ and often do not fit neatly into any one category. Nonetheless, we realise that labels are often required by society. It should be noted that some in our community will disagree with some of the descriptions of the terms below – one size does not fit all! Sex and Gender These two terms are often misused or incorrectly interchanged. The phrase “sex is between the legs and gender is between the ears” is very apt. Sex is assigned at birth and is generally determined by physical attributes such as your genitalia. Gender, often known as brain-sex, is your internal sense of self, how you perceive and mentally present yourself. Whilst the sex and gender coincide for the majority of society, they are two very separate issues. Crossdressing Crossdressing is the wearing of clothing commonly associated with a gender that is different to that which the person is assumed to have (which is generally according to the person’s sex). Crossdressing has existed throughout most of recorded history, largely due to the fact that society distinguishes between male and female gender by the style and type of clothing worn. The term itself does not imply any motives or necessarily indicate gender identity. Transvestite A transvestite is someone who crossdresses. The word transvestitism is derived from the Latin trans (across) and vestire (dressing). Whilst in practice the terms transvestite and crossdresser are synonyms, the latter has taken on a more restricted meaning in recent years and is the preferred term. In general transvestitism has been frowned upon by society in the past and was not practiced openly. Because of this the general public has little understanding of transvestitism. Crossdresser This is the preferred term used today to describe someone who crossdresses regularly because they enjoy doing so. They will often obtain personal satisfaction and peace of mind through crossdressing, and feel more relaxed when crossdressed. Generally the term crossdresser no longer includes those people crossdressing for other reasons, or male and female impersonators whose dressing is associated with their livelihood or profession. The majority of crossdressers identify as heterosexual, generally have no desire to take hormones or to have their genitalia surgically changed, and may not identify with, or want to be, a different gender. Transsexual A transsexual is a person who instinctively feels that they do not belong to the sex they have been associated with at birth. They will usually feel, dress, look, and act like a person of the opposite sex not because they choose or desire to, but because they need to in order to obtain a sense of belonging and peace of mind. A transsexual person will usually work towards living fulltime as the gender they know themselves to be, and will seek hormone treatment to help achieve this. In many, but not all cases, they will also undergo surgery so that their body matches what society expects of their gender. Transition Transitioning is the process of changing the gender you are perceived to be to that with which you identify. The new gender is generally the opposite of the birth sex or different to how you have been raised. The process of transitioning can take many years in order to successfully ensure that the gender identity that others perceive you to have matches your own gender identity. Transition is often misinterpreted as changing sex or undergoing Sex Reassignment Surgery (SRS). Transitioning and SRS are separate issues and, whilst SRS is often part of transitioning, many choose not to have SRS for any number of reasons, or do not have the means to do so. After transition, a person may not necessarily consider themselves to be transsexual or transgendered any longer, but may simply identify as a man or a woman. In addition, some will go ‘stealth’ or ‘deep stealth’ – they will attempt to erase all their past gender history and live as a man or woman as if from birth. The terms pre-op, post-op and non-op transsexual are often used to indicate whether a person has had, or is planning to have, SRS. However, some transgendered people dislike these terms because they put more stress on the surgical status than their actual mental gender identity. Transgender This is a relatively recent term, originally used to describe people who lived, or desired to live, in a gender different to that assigned at birth but without undergoing SRS. Today our community generally uses this as a polite umbrella term, to cover anyone who has at some point not conformed to the gender norms as perceived by society. Frequently this term will also be expressed as ‘trans’ or ‘trans*’. As an umbrella, transgender covers crossdressers, transsexuals, intersex people who identity differently to their sex assigned at birth and often, in principle, also to drag queens and kings. It does not include those who crossdress for fetish reasons because their gender identity is not questioned. The term cisgender is often used to refer to non-transgender people; that is, those who identify with the gender assigned to them at birth. Intersex Intersex people may have the biological characteristics of both the male and the female sexes. In some cases, their biological sex cannot be clearly defined as male or female. There are many conditions that can be defined as intersex and an intersex person may, or may not, identify as transgender. It has been said that up to 1.7% of human births are intersex to some degree, but the greatest majority are either ‘corrected’ at birth or develop without any serious consequences or gender identity questions. GID Gender identity disorder (GID) is the formal diagnosis that psychologists and psychiatrists use to describe persons who cannot relate to the gender that they have been assigned to. GID is usually only diagnosed in cases of significant gender dysphoria – not, for example, when a person is simply uncertain of gender or when some other disorder causes gender identity issues. GID in children is considered to be different from GID in adults, and will be handled differently. Many of our society disagree with GID being classified as a mental disorder – some do not regard their different gender identity as a disorder at all since gender characteristics are principally constructed by society – others believe there may be a physical cause, as suggested by recent studies about the brains of people who identify as women, but are biologically male. GID has been declassified as a mental disorder in some countries already and more are likely to follow as further studies evolve.
What Causes Crossdressing? Nobody truly knows. Over the years there have been many theories put forward, but none have been proven conclusively. It is not a disease – it cannot be caught, taught or inherited. It is not anyone’s fault and, more importantly, it is not chosen. There is no evidence to suggest that it is related to what a parent did or didn’t do, or to how the person is raised. Since the reasons for crossdressing as stated by transgendered people are varied, it was thought that there was unlikely to be a single ‘cause’. However, the most recent studies of transsexuals across the world shed light on possible biological causes of transsexualism. For the first six weeks in the womb, the fetus is of neutral gender. Between six and thirteen weeks, development of it is influenced by the action of hormones. Exposure to the male sex hormone testosterone usually causes the fetus to develop male physical characteristics – without that exposure it will develop as female. Researchers have found that a receptor which is activated by the binding of testosterone and plays a critical role in the forming of primary and secondary male sex characteristics has longer repeat lengths in male-to-female (MtF) transsexuals, reducing the gene’s effectiveness. A variant genotype for a gene which acts on the sex hormones pregnenolone and progesterone has also recently been found to be linked to female-to-male (FtM) transsexualism. A number of recent studies of the brain, and follow-up research and reviews, have found that the brains of transsexuals have structures similar to that expected of the person’s gender identity. Studies into the size of various areas of the brain, and a count of the number of neurons in those areas, have all concluded that MtF transsexuals fall in the range for females, and FtM transsexuals match the range for males. Whilst there is as yet no direct evidence to support it, many theorise that these effects may also be present in crossdressers but to a lesser degree. Since the fetus is basically female by default, it is possible that crossdresser’s brains do not entirely “forget” their female origins, thereby causing the desire and need to express femininity through crossdressing. However, since the effects are not as strong as they are in transsexuals, crossdressers may not suffer from significant gender dysphoria.
How Does Crossdressing Affect Sexual Preference? It doesn’t - crossdressing in itself does not alter one’s sexual preference. The early theories of Freud and Havelock Ellis are no longer accepted. Statistics show that homosexuality is not related to crossdressing. Sexual preference and gender identity are two separate issues. By far the greatest majority of crossdressers is, and will remain, heterosexual. The sexual preference of transsexuals is not altered as a direct result of coming to realise one’s transsexualism or through transition. Most transsexuals that preferred females before transition will continue to do so after transition, and those that preferred males will also continue to do so. Some transsexuals may appear to change preference after transition – for example, a MtF transsexual may have had relationships with females before transition yet take up relationships with males after transition. This does not necessarily indicate a change in sexual preference – most likely the male preference was there all along but either not recognised or the strict social constructs played a role.
Will the Need to Crossdress Go Away? Will it Grow Stronger? This is a condition of life, and it is not going to go away. Once you have started to feel the need to crossdress more than once or twice, you should understand that the feelings which you are experiencing will likely stay with you for the rest of your life. Most of us have at one time believed that we will, at some stage, be able to stop the crossdressing. Many have disposed of all their opposite sex paraphernalia (known as purging) more than once in their lives and made resolutions to “never do it again”. This denial period may last many years. However, there is no “cure” for crossdressing and it is very unlikely that a crossdresser will not dress again. Crossdressing in very young children is often mistaken – it may be a simple case of natural curiosity which the child may outgrow, or it may be a case of true GID which will need to be addressed. Many transsexuals have originally believed themselves to be crossdressers. Frequently this has been caused by the pressures of society. The gender dysphoria can grow stronger over time, requiring the sufferer to reconsider his/her condition. The urge to dress in crossdressers can wax and wane at different times for any number of reasons. At times of high stress in particular, a crossdresser may need to dress for long periods of time – but he must be careful not to jump to the conclusion that he must therefore be transsexual. It is quite likely that the need to dress will lessen once again as conditions change, and as long as gender identity is not a serious issue, there is no need for concern. A crossdresser does not become transsexual – one cannot learn to be transsexual or grow into a transsexual. But, if your gender dysphoria increases significantly, it is possible that you have been suppressing transsexuality and you should seek professional help.
How Many of Us Are There? Well, there are no genuine official statistics. As you can imagine, due to the way that society has frowned upon us in the past, it has been very difficult to get our community to stand up and be counted! However, that is slowly changing and some of the surveys performed over the past decade in various countries have shown that there are many more than most people realise. Not surprisingly, almost all crossdressers today are born male – although this has not been the case throughout history. Most crossdressers do not have a significant gender identity issue and crossdress primarily for relaxation, enjoyment, and the feel, look and variety of feminine clothing. Current society norms have little or no issue with females wearing what would normally be associated with males. Hence, a female wearing even an extremely male outfit would not be considered a crossdresser by society! Furthermore, since a fetus is basically female by default, there are generally no male origins for a female’s brain to “forget” and therefore little or no desire or need for a female to express masculinity through crossdressing alone. It is said that as many as 1 in 10 males will feel the desire to dress female at some time in their life. And it is generally accepted in the civilised world that around 1 in 10 of those will crossdress regularly. In other words, it is likely that around 1% of all males are crossdressers to some extent. Statistics for transsexuals vary widely, are often outdated, and many have been based only on those that have presented themselves for treatment. Some estimates are as high as 1 in 500, some as low as 1 in 20,000. The reality is likely to lie somewhere in between. Many recent studies by professionals and organisations indicate that the rate of presentation for treatment has grown by 15% and will continue to grow. A very recent research into transsexualism has concluded that, in most western cultures, it is likely that 1 in 1,500 live male births will result in some form of medical intervention in relation to a gender identity issue. The most recent and reliable statistics based on transsexuals that have been treated shows that the number of MtF transsexuals (known as Transwomen) is between 1.5 and 2 times that of FtM transsexuals (known as Transmen). It is often said that it is likely that around 1.5% to 1.75% of the population is transgender – in other words, 1.5% to 1.75% of the population do not identify with, or conform in one way or another to, the gender norms as perceived by society. To put some of this into perspective, in the Perth metropolitan area alone it is likely that there are more than 24,000 people who have crossed, or who are crossing, the so-called gender norms in one way or another – around 8,000 of those are likely to be crossdressers, between 250 and 500 are likely to be transsexuals who have transitioned and have undergone SRS, and there are probably some 1,500 other transsexuals of which around 15 to 20 will seek medical intervention this year. Naturally, a great proportion of the aforementioned 24,000 do not necessarily have a gender issue as such, and many of our community will hide their gender identity in public for one reason or another – nonetheless, the next time you visit a crowded cinema complex, bear in mind that there are likely to be as many as 50 of our community there with you – and when visiting some celebration such as the Skyworks, as many as 2,000 of us could be celebrating alongside you!
Who Are We? Members of the transgender community come from all walks of life and all professions. They can be rich or poor, from young to old, work in a public service, a shop, factory or office, or be retired or unemployed – just like anyone else. There is no relationship between being transgender and any specific profession, upbringing, hobby, or background. Contrary to popular belief, most crossdressers are heterosexual men, often happily married and responsible members of society. Crossdressers are not perverts, but just wish to dress and appear in a manner they find comfortable. They can be anyone - a husband, parent, brother, son, nephew or cousin. They can be married with children, have a mortgage, a job and all the normal pressures of day to day living. Many crossdressing husbands keep their crossdressing a secret from their wives and families because they fear rejection and isolation. This causes further tension and stress. Society has traditionally feared the crossdresser because it does not understand him. It is quite likely that there as many FtM transsexuals as there are MtF transsexuals, even though the perception is otherwise. The misperception is probably a result of a combination of any number of reasons. Most transsexual statistics are based on those presenting for treatment. FtM surgeries are currently far less satisfactory then MtF surgeries, there are fewer clinics able to perform them, and they can sometimes cost more. In addition, FtM transsexuals are able to ‘blend in’ with society much easier than MtF transsexuals and are therefore less often ‘recognised’ as transsexual. Furthermore, many FtM transsexuals can lead a reasonably satisfactory male life (often without major surgery) without the need for direct contact with the transgender community. Due to the nature of transsexuality and the constructs of society, marriages generally fail once a transsexual accepts him or herself, and they will then usually either remain single or take up a relationship with another transgender. There are, nonetheless, many examples of marriages, and families with children, which continue happily even through the transition of the transsexual.
What Can Be Done? The first step to coping with being transgender is self acceptance. You have no reason to be ashamed. The sooner you accept yourself, the sooner you will be able to get on with, and enjoy, your life. If you are married or in a relationship, it is important to talk openly and honestly with your partner. Accepting the situation can result in a happier person and mean a reduction of stress and tension for all concerned. For crossdressers, a good technique of coping is management. The crossdresser continues to indulge himself in dressing, but not in an obsessive or secretive manner as before. His partner may assist him in this. In this way, the crossdressing becomes another bond between them, rather than a barrier. For crossdressers and transsexuals, any feeling of isolation can best be tackled by finding others in the community with whom they can share their feelings. However, whilst they can learn a great deal about being transgender and how to cope with it from others, they should understand that each and every one of us is an individual and, whilst there will be many similarities in the stories, we are all different. What may be the best course of action for one person is not necessary the best for another. Those just coming to realise that they are transgender should take small steps, and slowly. Do not be unduly influenced by others. The only way to circumvent fear and suspicion from the public is to educate them, but this is a long process and requires exposure to real crossdressers and transsexuals, not a cliché. Public speaking helps towards this end.
Is it Legal? It is not per-se illegal in Australia, and most western cultures, to crossdress. Crossdressing is quite legal and crossdressing by itself does not break any laws. Crossdressing is not considered immoral by many theologians, provided there is no source of harm to others and that the practice does not obsess the person. However, as with any activity, you should ensure that your actions do not cause undue alarm to others. Unfortunately, there are still countries where crossdressing is illegal, invariably based on religious grounds. On the other hand, there are countries where being transsexual is revered!
Can I Use Either Toilet When I Am in Public? In mainland Australia, and in many western countries, there are no general, specific laws that prevent a person from using the public toilet of choice. However, private establishments such as clubs, hotels, restaurants, etc. do have the right to refuse access to a toilet on their premises – just like they also have the right to refuse access to the premises themselves. In many cases, this also includes shopping centers. Naturally it can be quite embarrassing for you to use the toilet designated for your birth sex if you are dressed according to the norms of the other sex. But you also have to remember that it could be embarrassing for others if you use the toilet designated for the sex according to your dress. If you are in a place where the people around you are not familiar with you or the transgender community, it is advisable to locate a gender-neutral toilet such as those designated for invalids. If you know the place you are in, you can often ask someone in charge whether it is OK for you to use a specific toilet. Generally, if you are dressed properly, and act properly according to your preferred gender, and use the toilet for what it was designed to be used for, you should find no concern. It is really a matter of being sensible and confident. But, unless you are in an ‘accepting’ environment such as a trans* friendly club, you must first make sure that you genuinely look and act according to your preferred gender. Remember, if you look and act appropriately, there is little chance that anyone will suspect that you are transgender and, even if they suspect, they are unlikely to challenge you. This is why learning to ‘pass’ effectively as the gender you prefer is important. And for transsexuals, who will be aiming for a fulltime life in that gender, it is essential.
Should I Seek Professional Help? Self acceptance is paramount to the wellbeing of trans* folk. Many will be able to come to terms with being trans* with the help and support of family and friends. Others may need counseling to achieve this. If you are, or believe yourself to be, transgender, remember that it is not only you who may require help, support and friendship. Those you care for, and those who care for you, often need support too. Groups and societies such as The Chameleons are a good place to find that support. However, such groups cannot replace objective, professional help when it is needed. There are psychologists who are trained in gender related issues and they will have counseled many crossdressers and transsexuals. In addition, they may specialise in relationships as well, and will therefore be able to help not only the trans* person but the partner and family too. Most crossdressers, once they accept themselves and especially if they have the support of family and friends, will not need any professional help. Nonetheless, as with many things, a professional can often shed light on possibilities that others miss. If you are a crossdresser, or the partner of a crossdresser, and you are not entirely happy with some aspect of the crossdressing, a visit to an appropriate psychologist may be advisable. If you believe yourself to be transsexual, it is very advisable to seek professional counseling as soon as possible. As a transsexual, you may require support quite different to that from a crossdresser and there are many aspects to a transsexual’s happy life that need to be considered. A transsexual’s life is often described as a journey – a journey that can be fraught with danger if not taken seriously. And, like any journey, a road-map will help make the journey safer and successful. Only the transsexual can truly know where the journey must lead to, and many have known that since childhood. But a psychologist trained in the appropriate issues is able to assist you, and your family and friends, in planning and navigating that journey. In today’s society access to information, professionals and treatments is better than it has ever been. The sooner you take action to plan and initiate the proper journey, the sooner your life can improve. Those who have not yet reached puberty are perhaps the ‘lucky ones’ – there are now treatments available to them that did not exist just a few decades ago. Whilst crossdressers do not necessarily need to inform all of their family and friends about their crossdressing, and generally should not do so, a transsexual on a journey to transition will almost certainly have to explain to family, friends, associates and colleagues. It is important to understand that, no matter how well you think you know these people, you cannot possibly be sure of their reactions. Remember, they possibly thought they knew all about you as well! There are no definitively good or bad ways to inform others about yourself, but there are ways to improve the chances of understanding and perhaps acceptance, and there are certainly ways to help avoid or reduce emotional distress to those you care for. Professional counseling can be essential at that time. In Australia and most western cultures it is necessary for a transsexual to seek consultation with an appropriately approved psychiatrist before consent can be given for any form of medical treatment, including hormone therapy and SRS. The psychiatrist may request that you are also counseled by a reputed psychologist if you do not already have such counseling. And a final word of warning. Whilst it is very tempting to consider self-medication of hormones, do not do so. Hormones can be very dangerous to your life. Each individual requires a specific mix and level, and you cannot possibly know what is right for you. If you guess what you need based on information from others or from online information, not only can it be dangerous but it is quite likely that the effects will not be as you desire and you will be wasting your money. Furthermore, in Australia and many other countries, it is illegal to import such hormones – international post is scanned very frequently and the penalties can include both fines and imprisonment. If your need is genuine, the psychiatrist will refer you to an endocrinologist for blood tests so that the safest and most suitable hormones for your particular case can be prescribed. |
